quite a few of the people reading this will have no idea what the hell i'm talking about. probably including many i know personally. but to those who do i ask them to take it as my way of looking at things. no malice intended anywhere.

this is basically just a rather wordy ramble about some stuff on my mind. do feel free not to read.


**

well, what with pretty much everyone hitting their journals with an obligatory 'hey-school-is-over-ohmygod' entry, i figure i might as well get in on the scene. i personally am not a major fan of spilling my thoughts onto a keyboard, but drastic times call for drastic measures, and godammit everyone else does it anyway.

--

I caught a glimpse, but its been forgotten
So here we are again
I made a vow, to carry you home.
home.

--

'why does life have to be so complex?'

i put this question to a very dear friend of mine a day or two back. now, it seems like a rather whiny thing to say, and you'd half expect a Simple Plan song to start playing somewhere, but it was a very valid question in context. and i'm quite sure pretty much everyone has asked this at some point of their existence. as it stands, we have come to a time where the need to ask it keeps surfacing. but i digress.

so yes, as i was saying, i put up the question in a mostly rhetorical fashion, and it certainly had quite a bit of weight behind it, and she responded with a sigh and a nod. perhaps it was the romantic-ness (geez, i'm making up words now) of the situation or something of the sort, but that made perfect sense to me. i am a total sucker for water and pretty lights.

we're all pretty much being thrown straight into a whirl of change and it quite obviously rakes up a lot of, um, issues. we're definitely going to lose touch with quite a few friends. and it sort of saddens me that i know that though i will keep in touch with my closest friends, relationships are definitely going to change. i can almost imagine running into them at some distant point in the future and being reduced to complete awkwardness after a little reminiscing about the 'old times'. it's something i sincerely hope will not ever happen.

--

I really tried to do what you wanted
It all went wrong again

--

so about those issues, then.
time, i have learnt, sorts out most things. we are young, and we have a heck of a long way to go, and there's no point taking the chance of screwing up the journey by raking up issues which will surely be resolved later. perhaps not as we might want them to, but such is life.

--

I made a vow, to carry you home
If you fall sick, if you pass out

--

a few days back, siddharth quoted an ancient gem :
'ladki or bus ke peeche kabhi bhaagne ka nahi. thode time ke baad doosri aajayegi.'
though my view of things isn't that..er..chauvinistic, i think there is definitely something to be said for it.

--

the past two days have seen me bid adieu to two close friends. i've never been all that good at goodbyes, but practice makes perfect, perhaps?
those of you who read dezy's poetry will know i often nitpick the hell out of even his best pieces. but my favourite of his is probably, as he puts it 'a light one with lots of mistakes.'

if not today or the next one hundred years,
i'm sure we'll meet tomorrow

--

it is a personal philosophy of mine to draw a very clear line between sadness and depression. sadness is a rather beautiful emotion - just look at the amount of amazing art dedicated to it. my way of dealing with sadness is to accept it and well, sort of, enjoy it.

--


I've figured it out, I can see again


**

if this has made no sense to you, my apologies, please excuse my self-indulgence. i did warn you though!